how to use social media and not get addicted to it

Starting with Friendster in 2004, I couldn’t count how many social media accounts I’ve had since. 10 years of getting my life socially available online has taught me how to be wise in posting things online and not addicted to the media. Throughout the time, I always have my (at least) 2 favorite media, which are changing from time to time, depending on where my friends are.

image taken from growingsocialmedia.com

Being someone whom my friends consider as a social-media-wise active, here’s me sharing how to use social media and not get addicted to it:

1. Know where you are and who you are with in real life. I know being in social media means you’re virtually close to everyone – some people even said that “it makes those who are far by distance closer and those who are close further” – I was dragged into it also for some moment. In order to get out of it, you need to be aware of where you are really. The best time to browse through your social media is when you’re alone in your room (I normally do it before I go to sleep and after I wake up in the morning), NOT when you’re surrounded by real human beings. Please please please, for those teenagers who ignore people around them, don’t do that. You’ll regret it later.
2. Self control. So you’re newly single, you can’t tell stories to your family members and all your friends are in a relationship? You’re not alone. Well, sometimes your hormones are telling you to post things online so EVERYone (this will include people you don’t know from around the world, other than the one you want to transmit the message to). I can’t blame you for that, because I did that too. And regret it later. If you can still control the sadness and anger, please don’t. Ever.
3. Privacy is number one, and you’re the only one who can control what you post online. If you’re someone who posts everything you do online, then you’re not alone. But if you think about it, do you really want someone you barely know, or even a complete stranger, know that you’re, let’s say, hanging out at mall A. I might sound paranoid, but what if a bad guy comes to you to mall A and kidnaps you?!?! :O
4. Keep in mind that social media is there to let you interact with people, not to give them freedom to stalk you. I was quite amazed when one day a friend asked me: how was the food at restaurant X? I posted that online, but I wasn’t aware that someone would actually notice the detail until she asked me. After the incident (I call it incident since I don’t really like someone knowing what I’m doing and where I am, at least not until it’s over), I become more careful in posting things online.
5. If you know you’re someone with lack of self control, don’t even start it. Social media is not created for those who lack of self control.
6. Don’t overdo it. During the presidential election campaign period a little while ago, some friends suddenly became these fanatic when it comes to politics. They would post good things about the candidate they support (that are sometimes overly good – too good to be true) and bad things about the other candidate. In my opinion, it’s them overdoing it. It’s totally OK to show people which side you’re standing for, but it’s not OK when you’ve started posting about it every hour, not to mention posting bad things about others whom you don’t actually know.
7. If you don’t have something good to say, then be quiet. When you post something negative, it will sooner or later bring negative effects to you too. Keep posting only positive things, keep your image virtually positive, for your own good.

Hope it helps.. 🙂

about time

If you’re thinking that I’m going to promote the last movie by Rachel McAdams, then you’re wrong because I haven’t watched the movie at all.

I thank God that I was given a chance to date a guy whose principle is “timing is everything“. During our relationship, we had this habit to always be honest and tell the truth to each other, at the right time. What does “the right time” mean? (Done with the past tense.) It means we have to see the situation of others before telling them the truth. Situation here includes, but not limited to, one’s mood, place and activities.

I had this discussion with a friend last week regarding time (somehow I always have this absurd conversation with this friend but we enjoy it a lot 😛 and yes, he’s the same person with whom I talked “about the one“). At the end of discussion, we agreed that time is God’s game where we human play our roles. Our roles here mostly are active, meaning every little act and decision we make might shift the timing for every chained reaction related to our actions. However, there are things that might happen or might not if we decide to be passive.

A good example here is my relationship case. I’ve written before about my parents’ disapproval of my plan to marry my then boyfriend. In approximately 5-6 months after we broke up, he decided to date another girl, and in approximately 2 months after, my parents changed their minds seeing me broken and sad. Now if only he hadn’t decided to commit into another relationship so quickly, maybe we’d been back into our initial plan of getting married. With the decision he’s made, we’re forced to have our own visions, to go our own ways. Time is a game. And our decisions determine our future. (And again I thank God for making him made the decision.)

decision

When you’re in a situation where you have to decide things, you’re actually faced with two biggest considerations: time and ideal condition.

Everyone wants the best thing to happen to himself, especially when it’s a big thing in life. This is the time idealism come to the surface. I see many people sacrifice their time in order to reach the ideal condition – the best condition in their perspective. It’s never wrong to aim for the best, but in life sometimes you have to be real, IMO. I used to be an idealist but time taught me to be a realist instead. You can never control whatever outside of you but you can adapt and try to get your best from there.

Idealism and Realism are like yin and yang

A friend and I started our “fight” to achieve for Master’s study together. Let’s say we were under the same condition, where many schools rejected us and we had to take the standardization tests a lot of times. We knew the minimum requirements of each school in order for us to pass. Hence, I chose lower-ranked schools where my passing opportunity is higher. My friend, however, is still aiming for the best schools. I set my own limit regardless of the minimum requirement, while my friend sets his own limit to follow the minimum requirements. None of us is wrong, it’s just the matter of idealism.

So then in 2011 I started my Master’s study in a not-so-famous university, which was my lowest priority when applying, and I’ve graduated this year. I’m done. My friend, however, is still struggling to meet the minimum requirements. Almost succeeded. Maybe he’ll go and study his Master’s earlier next year.

In my case, I’m putting “time” in my priority, while my friend is putting “ideal condition” in his priority. Again I say, none of us was wrong – it’s a choice.

Good luck, my friend. 🙂