on sharing

Being an introvert when I was at school (I’m best described as an ambivert today), you can always be certain that I wasn’t one of those students who would proactively ask and answer the teachers in class. Of course, the bigger things like me presenting in front of class are more unlikely to happen.

I had always felt like I was the most inactive student in class until I got into college, where apparently students from other schools were even more inactive than me, and I became one of the most active students then. One thing that I’ve been facing in many organizations since my college time is sharing in events. The skill of sharing is one of the life survival skills in any organization. I’m not an expert myself, but there are certain things that you must master to be a good sharer/speaker:

  1. Be confident. You’re the one who understands the matter best out of all the people in the room.
  2. Be prepared. Prepare the meeting agenda, know what points are to be presented and to which depth.
  3. Know your audience and deliver the contents with their capabilities/expertise.
  4. Speak at the correct speed. That is, not too fast nor too slow.

Anyone want to add some points?

[in Bahasa Indonesia] Penerapan Sekolah 5 Hari

Setelah ditelusuri, ternyata opini untuk menerapkan sekolah 5 hari dengan durasi belajar 40 jam seminggu/8 jam sehari mulai tahun ajaran 2017-2018 sudah lumayan lama juga ya keluar, dan saya baru dengar beritanya tadi pagi di radio saat perjalanan ke kantor. Memang keterlaluan anak satu ini, mentang-mentang sudah lulus dari sekolah jadi tidak care lagi dengan perkembangan dunia pendidikan. *lebay*

Mau ga mau saya jadi bernostalgia soal jam sekolah saya jaman dulu. Kebetulan di Indonesia ini tiap ganti menteri pendidikan (tiap kabinet namanya ganti-ganti, mulai dari mendikbud, mendiknas, sampe balik lagi mendikbud), kurikulum sekolah juga pasti ganti. Otomatis, kebijakan soal cara penilaian siswa sampe buku pelajaran yang dipake pasti ganti (dan sayangnya lagi, jarak umur antara saya dan adik saya pas 5 tahun, jadi orangtua kami ga bisa berhemat secara buku yang saya pake ga bisa dipake lagi sama adik saya).

Masa sekolah paling bahagia itu tentunya TK. Sekolahnya sih memang Senin-Sabtu, tapi sistemnya pagi-siang (tiap bulan ganti), sekolah Senin-Jumat 2 jam 15 menit sehari dan Sabtu 1 jam 30 menit saja. Lanjut SD (yang menurut saya kelamaan, sampe-sampe pas kelas 5 saya udah mulai nanya ke nyokap: kapan lulus ya, lama amat sekolahnya?), kelas 1-2 masih sistem pagi-siang dengan durasi yang lebih lama, Senin-Sabtu 2 jam 30 menit sehari, dan kelas 3-6 sekolah seharian (awal-awal kelas 3 rasanya sekolah itu lamaaaaa banget), Senin-Jumat jam 7.00-12.10 dan Sabtu jam 7.00-11.00. Lulus SD, saya sebenernya pengen lanjut ke SMP di negeri sebelah (alias SMP lain, karena TK-SD saya di sekolah yang sama, jadi bosen ketemu lingkungan dan teman-teman yang itu-itu aja), tapi apa daya kepentok ijin. Waktu itu bokap merasa saya masih terlalu kecil untuk dilepas ke sekolah yang jauh, jadi terpaksa saya lanjut lagi di SMP yang sama. Jam sekolahnya Senin-Jumat jam 7.00-13.30 dan Sabtu jam 7.00-11.00, dengan tambahan ekskul dan bimbingan 1-2 kali seminggu jadi pulang jam 4 sore (saya ga pernah ikut ekskul yang ga wajib karena males pulang sore). Tidak ada kendala yang berarti selama SMP, selain masalah psikologis masa puber yang bikin saya dan teman-teman galau ganjen norak nakal (kalau dilihat dari kacamata saat ini).

Lulus SMP, akhirnya saya diijinkan masuk ke SMA yang saya mau, dengan pertimbangan SMA yang bagus menentukan universitas yang bisa ditembus. Jam sekolah masih sama seperti waktu SMP, juga dengan komposisi ekskul dan bimbingan yang sama. Yang paling berkesan dari masa SMA adalah ternyata SMA saya termasuk SMA unggulan, ga cuma di Jakarta tapi di Indonesia, sampe-sampe kepilih jadi SMA percontohan si kurikulum baru (saat itu, tahun 2002), Kurikulum Berbasis Kompetensi (KBK). Yang paling berubah dari KBK ini adalah sistem penilaian (dan libur) yang tadinya per caturwulan (cawu)/4 bulanan, jadi kaya anak-anak kuliahan, per semester/6 bulanan, dan nilai di raport tidak boleh dibawah 7,5 (saat kelas 1-2) dan 8 (kelas 12). Ya, sistem kelas pun berubah saat naik dari kelas 2 ke kelas 3, karena saat saya kelas 3, KBK mulai diterapkan di semua sekolah lain di Indonesia (atau baru Jakarta ya?), dan sistem penomoran kelas yang tadinya 1-6 SD – 1-3 SMP – 1-3 SMA, diubah jadi kelas 1-12.

Saya inget banget, saat saya SMA itu, saya tiap hari Senin-Jumat pulang jam 13.30 (KBK ini emang sekolahnya cuma 5 hari seminggu) dan hari Sabtu diisi ekskul, sementara temen-temen di sekolah lain rata-rata pulangnya jam 15.30 dan sebagian hari Sabtu masih belajar juga, dan sebagian besar mereka bilang saya enak banget bisa pulang cepet. Saya sih cuma ketawa aja waktu itu, sambil dalam hati setengah menggerutu: apa enaknya?! Loe enak pulang sekolah sore masih sempet main-main, sementara gue begitu sampe rumah harus buru-buru buka PR dan belajar untuk ulangan. Yes, sekolah saya se-nggak santai itu. Disiplinnya amit-amit, pelajarannya intens banget sampe-sampe mau ijin sakit aja mikir 1000 kali (ga masuk 1 hari = ketinggalan pelajaran jauh banget), jadwal ulangan umumnya selalu lebih cepet seminggu dari sekolah lain dan saat anak sekolah lain sibuk ulangan umum, kami pun sibuk dengan pelatihan-pelatihan yang dirancang sama sekolah buat siswinya (mulai dari pelatihan jurnalistik sampe narkoba udah pernah dijabanin deh), dan pelit banget buat ngasih libur (trust me, even jaman-jaman force majeure macam banjir ato demo gede-gedean pun teteeeepp guru-guru rajin kasih tugas buat dikerjain di rumah.. baru saat itu saya ngerasain ‘belajar di rumah’ as in bener-bener belajar dan ga libur).

Jadi menurut saya, diterapkan atau tidaknya aturan sekolah 5 hari seminggu ini betul-betul tergantung dari sekolah masing-masing. Tujuan utamanya kan katanya biar baik guru maupun murid bisa benar-benar memanfaatkan waktu libur akhir pekan untuk keluarga, tapi ya semua tergantung kebijakan sekolah juga. Kalau sudah ditetapkan 5 hari seminggu 8 jam sehari sekolah, harus dipikirkan juga gimana biar anak-anak ga tertekan, apalagi kalau guru-guru masih membebani dengan PR dan ulangan. Yang ada nanti kualitas pendidikan ga membaik, waktu kualitas dengan orangtua juga ga tercapai, ditambah lagi muridnya stress.

*Semoga kualitas pendidikan Indonesia bisa semakin ditingkatkan lagi, terutama dalam era globalisasi ini, agar para pendidik juga bisa memberikan pandangan yang luas kepada para murid sambil mendorong agar murid mau ikut berpartisipasi aktif dalam mengemukakan pendapat di depan umum.

*Bersyukurlah anak-anak jaman sekarang karena populasi guru killer sudah menurun drastis dibanding jaman saya sekolah dulu.

*Setelah hampir 3 tahun ga nge-blog pake bahasa Indonesia, ternyata kangen juga dan lumayan bisa mengalir lancar tulisannya.

about losing friends

When you’re at school, it’s very easy to make new friends. Classmates will automatically be your friends; members of neighboring classes whom you happen to see a lot will also be your friends. Being in the university, friends will reduce from 100% classmates to only about 50%. You will know and be friends with people you have same interests with, regardless the major you’re taking and which class you are in. At work, during your quarter life crisis, you’d then realize that your school time friends would suddenly go missing in action except for a few whom you keep good contact with. Your colleagues are not necessarily your friends too. People will approach you for the things you have, or for the position you are in, when in need. After the need is fulfilled, everything will get back to normal, you can be as if you never know each other.

Image

This is what I learn: no matter how many friends you made in the past, those who don’t share the same …. (blank can be filled with: geographical location, interest, circle of friends, jobs, etc.) would eventually go missing in action. The best thing you can do today is to seize the moment, spend the best of your time with the friends you value the most, learn from past friendship mistakes, and forget those who left you. Friendship is a mutual verb – both sides need to love each other at the same level, need each other at the same level, fight through any hardships together, and keep their promises to each other.

P.S.: If you happen to have a good friend of the opposite sex, I’d suggest you to know the boundaries well, and should you be not sure about how the other is feeling towards you, never be tempted to court your friend, as it might end up terribly.

speak out

If I were asked what the biggest mistake I’ve done so far, the answer will be: going back to Jakarta after having lived in “the most liveable city in the world”. The reason is almost emotional at the moment, remembering that the public transport service and all other services are driving me mad. If you ask my parents what their biggest mistake was, the answer would be to have sent me to an all-girl school, then abroad.

Guess what? I just realized that I’m a quite spoken out person (especially when the estrogen level is high).

It’s not that I speak out about every single thing – I have enough patience not to be easily angry – but I speak my mind out loud when the limit’s passed. And here in Jakarta, the limit’s tested almost every time I step out of home: while waiting for the bus to come at the shelter, while staring at the constantly automatically opened shelter door (because the programmer didn’t program the controller correctly. DOH!), while getting on the bus (where most people would cut me and/or step on my foot), while on the bus (where it’s really hard to get a seat, even for preggers/ppl with children/old ppl), while getting off, while crossing the street, and especially, while driving.

People from the legislative did some “comparative study” to the city I lived in, but they seem to never really learn anything. The public transport system, for example, uses time schedule where there are people waiting in a stop sometimes to take notes on the time accuracy. If it’s not accurate, then they will really improve on that. I don’t really expect Jakarta’s public transport to have any time schedule since the traffic is totally unpredictable, but they could at least apply frequently release of the bus, for example. The case now is that passengers have to wait in the shelter with no clue on whether the bus will come anytime soon, and most of the time the buses will come consecutively, creating jam around the shelter. They could’ve made the buses leave the terminal every 20 minutes so they will arrive at the shelter in the frequency of 20 minutes. Or I don’t know. I’m nobody with statistics background. You tell me.

I was really angry yesterday after waiting in the shelter for 1 hour, and within that 1 hour, 6 buses arrived in opposite direction. If there are 6 buses, the last 3 buses were only half full, why don’t distribute evenly for both directions? I yelled at the officers in the shelter (I know, regardless their helplessness..) because nobody dared to. After I did so, many people spoke out too (or, to be more precise, mumbled) about how they’re tired of waiting. Then they’d look at me fearfully because I’m the one who yelled.

Why can’t I speak out? It’s as if speaking out my mind means I’m insane.

Speak out, people!

stand up and speak out

Β 

all-girl school

I think I’ve mentioned many times about me going to an all-girl high school, then continuing the study to the very manly major of engineering where my friends were mostly guys. The latter had come more in the story, but a blog post I just read earlier today reminds me of how going to the all-girl high school has led me to survive life. Here‘s the blog post.

What would people imagine when one mentions an all-girl school? I’ve recorded 2 most frequent reactions so far:

  1. “WOW!”, which means a guy imagining a whole school full with sexy high school girls like they often see in a Japanese dorama, or a single guy seeking for some pretty friends of mine for potential dates.
  2. “How did you survive studying there for 3 (or even more)Β whole years?”, which means a girl from heterogenous high school imagining teenage life without boyfriends and/or boy friends.

Whichever homogenous school one has gone to, the ex-students, I reckon, would have one reaction when being asked his/her experience studying there: AWESOME.

Yes, regardless only 50% or less students managed to have boyfriends, seeing all female friends everyday has been the best life experience I had so far. Some advantages I’d mention to some random colleague are:

  • FREE! Of all things that might cause clumsiness to all teenage girls: menstrual leaks on the back of the skirt, a teenage guy’s nose bleeds (errr..)Β due to direct sight of a girl’s underwear because she forgets to wear shorts underneath her skirt, being caught with a huge pimple (puberty face) and/or oily face, oily hair due to no time to wash your hair, etc. etc. In short, you don’t need to worry about your look when it comes to school.
  • You can play games you can’t play around guys, i.e. unbuttoning your blouse when you lose a card game. πŸ˜›
  • PE is so much easier. (Trust me, I went to a heterogenous junior high school and the PE teacher seemed to use boys’ standards in making the subject’s syllabus that only few girls got good grades.)
  • You are trained to not be afraid speaking in public. Well, most of the time the school turned someone really quiet and shy to a more talkative and confident person. πŸ™‚

But actually there are more to those:

  • Girls are trained to be discipline yet independent. Simple explanation: will you ever lift up a heavy bench with another 9 girls if you’re going to a heterogenous school? You realized that everyone is of the same gender there, so you can’t really cling on someone too much and in the end, you’ll have to do things by yourself.
  • You are free to speak. Because you are all the same. You know the limits.
  • You are more focused to study because there’s no distraction (read: guys).
  • There is less conflict between students. Because you are all in the same shoes and you have one common enemy: the school management. πŸ˜› You’d hate all the rules they’ve written “for your own good”, so you’ll coordinate in trying to break one (or more). Collectively. πŸ˜€

…so who said an all-girl school is boring? I bet it’s more fun. πŸ˜‰

Β 

about being friends with guys

Talking about friends, I have quite a unique experience. I went to an all-girls high school, then continued to electrical engineering with only 10% female students (not to mention the last year of the study that I’d spent as the only girl in a class of 30). Was it easy to adapt? The answer is definitely no. Hehehe..

In the first 18 years of my life (from I was born until I graduated from high school), I was always surrounded by girls. I idolized my mom and some older girls, I was a good friend to girls but not to boys, and it was always clumsy when I was with boys. Then suddenly, in my 19th year, I was forced to be friends with guys. Ta-da! Impossible. Out of 4 years of bachelor’s study, I spent 1 year being friends with girls only. Second year onwards, I became more flexible and befriended guys.

Guys have easier life?

Β 

It’s now been 7 years since I got to “know” the opposite sex and it’s been a wonderful time. Here are some advantages of being friends with guys:

  1. You get to be yourself. Yes, yourself, your true self. They never care about your appearance (as long as you keep yourself clean *anyway, which girl doesn’t shower for days? Yuck!) and they don’t take your words to the heart. You can joke with them about anything without being worried that it would hurt their feelings (well.. everyone has his limit, but guys’ limits are more tolerant :P).
  2. You have your personal career advisor. Voila! No need to hire anyone to be your career advisor. When it comes to work, guys usually become professionals as soon as they work. They have good senses about impressing bosses and working well.
  3. Relationship advisor. Oops.. you’ve got to be careful about this one, because your boyfriend can be jealous πŸ˜› Anyway, it’s always nice to have a guy friend to whom you can talk about your relationship issues and get a feedback on guy’s views about the problems. It helps you a lot in understanding your partner.
  4. “Bodyguard”. With increasing number of sexual harassment and crime, it is always safer to walk with guy(s). They can be your bodyguard. πŸ˜›
  5. No matter how long you don’t make contacts, when you see each other again, you’ll still be friends.

However, the downside of being friends with guys is (I can only find 1):

Gossips! They also talk about other people. And the most annoying thing is the things that we consider important and sensitive are not that important and sensitive to them that they talk about freely. For example, when you tell them about a guy you like, they will just talk about it until the guy himself knows! Because it’s not a sensitive thing to them. So girls, beware.. they are not as trustworthy as you think they are.. (in my case, I have to make them say a gentleman agreement to not talk about the stuff I tell them)

I think I’ve written this before: no matter how fun it is to be friends with guys, I’m still best friends with girls as they understand my feelings better and they are more loyal. πŸ™‚