[in Bahasa Indonesia] Post-Wedding Story (My First 100 Days a Mrs.)

Keenakan nulis soal pengalaman baru gw, kayanya content lainnya terlupakan begitu aja. Makanya ini bakal jadi episode pertama dan terakhir kisah kehidupan baru gw sebagai istrinya suami gw. Hehehe..

Ga kerasa, udah lebih dari 100 hari sejak hari H gw. Kira-kira beginilah kehidupan gw di 100 hari pasca pernikahan:

Hari H: tewas. Tapi setewas-tewasnya gw, H+1 masih nyempetin nonton bioskop (banyak banget film yang kelewat gara-gara sibuk nyiapin wedding) sambil packing buat honeymoon.

H+2: berangkat honeymoon. The joy of honeymoon yang selama ini dibilangin orang-orang bener: sesibuk apapun lu di kantor, orang-orang seolah-olah ngerti sendiri bahwa ini adalah saatnya lu me time sama pasangan. Jadi meskipun gw absen (beneran, ga pake idupin HP sama sekali), rasanya damai aja pas balik ngantor minggu depannya.

H+8: real life began. Di sini lah kami mulai disibukkan dengan segala urusan bersih-bersih rumah sampe belanja mingguan.

H+9 sampe H+100: never-ending fights. Hahaha.. 😀

BlogGraphic-Calendar-v1-compressor

Gw pernah nulis di postingan gw soal tips mempersiapkan perkawinan bahwa masa-masa menjelang hari H adalah masa-masa gw paling banyak brantem sama pasangan. Kenyataannya, pas pulang honeymoon itu lebih sering lagi kami berantem, karena ternyata memang bener kata para orangtua, menyatukan 2 pribadi dengan latar belakang dan keluarga yang berbeda itu pasti sulit. Kalo jaman pacaran (+ persiapan perkawinan) itu sering brantemnya masalah beda prinsip dan mempertahankan gengsi, setelah married bahan brantemnya adalah perbedaan standar kebersihan dan cara ngerjain sesuatu.

Perubahan lingkungan tempat tinggal dan keharusan ngurusin suami udah cukup bikin gw shock pas itu, ditambah lagi ketemu yang ga sesuai di rumah, jadilah gw cepet ‘panas’. Kalo udah ‘panas’ (yang udah kenal gw lama mungkin tau), bawaan gw pasti ngomel-ngomel. Nah sisi ngomel-ngomel inilah yang sebelumnya ga diketahui suami gw. Unfortunately, dia juga cepet ‘panas’ kalo denger orang ngomel-ngomel. Beginilah awalnya brantem biasanya.

The good thing is kami ga terbiasa brantem lama-lama dan biasanya juga setelah agak adem, langsung diomongin dari hati ke hati, apa yang bikin ga happy dan baiknya gimana ke depannya. Plus emang dari awal mutusin married udah berkomitmen emang mau bangun keluarga, jadi kata-kata ‘putus’ atau ‘cerai’ ga pernah ada di kamus kami.

Kalo ada yang bilang membangun kebiasaan itu butuh waktu 21 hari, gw bisa bilang untuk membiasakan diri hidup berkeluarga tu definitely butuh lebih dari itu. Setelah lewat 100 hari, somehow frekuensi brantem kami turun drastis sih.. kami balik lagi ke kondisi sebelum pacaran yang adem ayem aja, malah cenderung makin kompak. Brantem-brantem kecil sih pasti ada, tapi ga pernah lagi separah pas awal.

Good luck for all other newlyweds out there! 🙂

(Introduction to) Europe Trip

It was a fine Saturday afternoon in the middle of a series of public holidays when I knew from a friend, then I checked myself, flight tickets promo. I had never been to Europe, and it was one of the place I’d always wanted to visit. So I told my husband that the tickets were somehow discounted (not much, but cheaper than usual), and my full-of-surprise husband instantly told me to buy the tickets, so I did. LOL. (We consider this holiday as our second honeymoon, using remaining wedding savings we had. – FYI our wedding ended up overbudget, but we managed to save some money from the initially anticipated amount.)

When I first looked at Europe map, I got so excited and planned to visit 10+ cities in my 14 days trip. My trip-planner best friend (re: Tata) then told me not to be dazed by the map and consider the tiredness we would feel if we’d followed that plan. I had to agree with her, so I reorganized my expectations and decided to limit our trip to what people refer to ‘Introduction to Europe’, i.e. the places one must visit during his/her first time in Europe. So here it goes.

*Note: ticket prices are for adults – need to check for reference before budgeting because in most European countries, children and students normally can get discounted price.

Day 1: 5 Oct 2019 – Jakarta-Amsterdam to Düsseldorf (Germany)

So this was officially the longest flight I’d been in – 17 hours in total (excluding transit time in Dubai) + another 2.5 hours by train. My friend Lydia and her husband Tomy picked us up at Düsseldorf train station (we arrived at 7 PM), then we went for dinner at (German for Brewery) Brauerei Schumacher in Altstadt area.

Day 2: 6 Oct 2019 – Cologne – Linz am Rhein (Germany)

Lydia was definitely over excited her friend visited her – on 2nd day we went to Cologne and Linz am Rhein. Both cities are beautiful (Cologne is 45 mins drive from Düsseldorf and Linz am Rhein is about the same distance from Cologne) – unfortunately, it showered the whole day that we cannot take too many pictures (and it was, I feel, our coldest day during our 14-day trip).

Day 3: 7 Oct 2019 – Düsseldorf

It was Monday; Tomy and Lydia worked so we strolled around the city ourselves. Düsseldorf is a unique city because it keeps the old part around while at the same time builds the contemporary part of the city. We started the day strolling around Carlsplatz (Düsseldorf’s oldest market), continued to Altstadt (this time successfully tried the famous pork leg at Schweine Janes for lunch), Medienhafen (the most contemporary part of the city), Rheinuferpromenade (Rhein river bank, not forgetting to see and take pictures in Rhein Tower), Kiefernstraße to see street art, Nordpark, then last but not least tried out some cakes and hot chocolate in Cafe Heinemann.

Day 4: 8 Oct 2019 – Düsseldorf to Paris (France)

It was (again) a rainy morning when we departed to Düsseldorf train station to move to Paris by Thalys. The funny thing was that I accidentally rode the same train as Cuni, my friend in Paris. So we met and chatted for a while in the train (we sat on different car). As soon as we reached Paris Nord station, we went to The Wall of Love, Sacre Coeur Basilica (again it was raining, otherwise many pickpockets would have operated around the area, my friend said) and Montmartre. I was so amazed by the pretty interior of Sacre Coeur Basilica. ♡

Day 5: 9 Oct 2019 – Paris

On our 2nd day in Paris, we went to Sainte Chapelle and The Conciergerie in the morning, then Musée d’Orsay, Champs Elysees and Arc de Triomphe for the rest of the afternoon. Best part is that we climbed up Arc de Triomphe at sunset so we got to see the beautiful sky (and rainbow).

Day 6: 10 Oct 2019 – Versailles (France)

Our visit to Versailles was originally planned to be half day, but it ended up to be a full day visit (I didn’t schedule anything else on this day). At first we didn’t expect it to be so big (and tiring), but apparently the complex is very big and packed with tourists.

Day 7: 11 Oct 2019 – Paris

It is mandatory to book a time slot to visit Musée du Louvre, and thankfully we still got the slot for morning visit. Again, we didn’t expect Louvre to be so big (it will take 5 weeks to finish exploring the whole museum, according to Robert Langdon/Dan Brown) and confusing. After about 2 hours strolling with whatever-collection-we-bumped-into, we decided to go straight to the 3 masterpiece collections: Venus de Milo, the Winged Victory, and Mona Lisa – all 3 were so crowded with Mona Lisa as the champion (we were too lazy to queue to see Mona Lisa so we only took a picture from far). In the afternoon, we continued to Eiffel Tower – unfortunately that day the elevators were broken so only 1 operated, causing massive delay. We booked a 13.30 slot and by the time we arrived (we were late by 5 mins), even people with 13.00 time slot were still there. Finally we got on the elevator at almost 3 PM. What an experience. Afterwards, following my itinerary, we went for a picnic in Champs de Mars (thanks to Cuni for the food), walked for some pictures in Trocadero, then ended our day in Galeries Lafayette.

Day 8: 12 Oct 2019 – Paris to Rome (Italy)

Our last morning in Paris was spent walking around our apartment (no time for another museum visit), then we went to the airport for our flight to Rome. Same thing in Rome, when we arrived, we walked around our apartment only.

Day 9: 13 Oct 2019 – Rome-Vatican-Rome

It was a bad Sunday morning, where we spent more than 1 hour to reach (only) halfway to our original destination due to too long bus waiting time and had to decide to go straight to Vatican to join papal angelus. We arrived in Vatican’s St. Peter’s Square at 11.10 AM when the mass was still going on. The mass finished at 12.20 PM, then the Pope paraded circling the Square. We waited until 1 PM (papal angelus is scheduled to start at 12 PM), and decided to leave because I was hungry. 😀 From Vatican, we went on with the missed morning itinerary (and managed to complete it): strolling around Spanish Steps, Trevi Fountain, Pantheon (we didn’t get in because the queue was too long), then ended our walk on Via Francesco Crispi to see leather products.

Day 10: 14 Oct 2019 – Rome-Vatican

Our 2nd day in Rome marked the only day our schedule was fixed for morning and afternoon: in the morning we went (booked online) to Colosseum and The Roman Forum, then in the afternoon we went (also booked online) to Vatican Museum and the Sistine Chapel.

Day 11: 15 Oct 2019 – Rome to Amsterdam (Netherlands)

We left early (by early means we left the apartment when it was still dark) to go to the airport so we got to spend more time in Amsterdam. After dropping our luggage in the apartment, we directly went to Bloemenmarkt (flower market) to see beautiful tulips (but of course we didn’t buy the seeds because we’re sure it’s not going to grow in a hot country like Indonesia) and De Negen Straatjes (the 9 streets) to stroll around the shops (unfortunately they’re closed by 5-6 PM so we didn’t get to see too much), then ended our short walk by having dinner in Foodhallen.

Day 12: 16 Oct 2019 – Zaanse Schans – Haarlem (Netherlands)

On our 1st day in The Netherlands (technically, we stayed in Zaandam, a small town in northern side of Amsterdam, and it’s closer to this place we went to), we decided to spend our day outside Amsterdam. Our first destination was Zaanse Schans. We didn’t expect it to be so fun to visit – there is this open area with ‘exhibition houses’ where we can see the wooden clog making process, small explanation on how cheese was first made, small museum of Albert Heijn, the first supermarket that sold Zaandam’s local products, and of course, windmills. Then there is also Zaans Museum and Chocolate and Verkade Experience in the main building. Afterwards, we headed to Haarlem, the capital city of the province of North Holland. Unfortunately, it was raining when we arrived, so we only got to take a few (by a few I meant 1 or 2, without us in the pictures) then decided to warm ourselves up in a small cafe instead. By the time the rain stopped, it was already 5 PM and most of the shops (Haarlem is famous as the center of shopping in North Holland) were already closed. 😦

Day 13: 17 Oct 2019 – Amsterdam

Being our last destination, I improvised my Amsterdam itinerary a lot – except for the pre-booked Van Gogh Museum we visited on this 2nd day in Amsterdam (it was booked at 1.30 PM and, getting tired by all the museums/art galleries we’d visited throughout our Europe trip, we really just skipped a lot of things in this museum LOL). The original plan was to visit Rijkmuseum in the morning, then Van Gogh Museum in the afternoon, but we ended up strolling around Albert Cuypmarket to buy souvenirs and try traditional dishes in the morning (hello, stroopwafel, poffertjes, haring, and chicken meatballs *drooling*). After lunch and Van Gogh, we continued for dessert in The Pancake Bakery (finally found a restaurant we like in Amsterdam), Sexmuseum de Venustempel (and enjoyed it more than Van Gogh LOL) and the Red Light District. Then, to make our last night in Europe more fun, we rode on the 1 hour river cruise (the view is so pretty in the evening).

Day 14: 18 Oct 2019 – Amsterdam-Jakarta

Our last morning in Amsterdam, we checked out early and walked around the apartment (which we hadn’t done the previous days) to shop last minute souvenirs. Apparently there are more stores around than we expected before. At 12 PM, we headed straight to the airport (only to find that our flight was delayed by 1.5 hours.. haha..), but we made it. We arrived in Jakarta on 19 Oct 2019 (the next evening), feeling so happy yet exhausted.

My Opinion on Each City

  1. Dusseldorf – Cologne – Linz am Rhein (Germany)
    Germans are not the nicest people you can meet, but they’re definitely the smartest compared to all other 3 nations that I met in Europe. The cities are not so tourist-friendly, but I love how they preserve the old buildings and the fact that they are highly aware of preserving the environment (where else can you get 25 cents from a used plastic bottle?). If you eat pork and drink beer, this is the place for you.
  2. Paris (France)
    Paris is our favorite city that we visited in Europe, in terms of things to see and do as tourists. Oh and I like the fact that they serve tap water for free in every restaurant *stingy me*. The downsides are that Parisian works so slow (several times we had to wait > 20 mins to get our food served), food choices are more or less the same in every restaurant (except if you go to Asian restaurants) and some older people resisted on speaking English (thank God the younger ones speak English).
  3. Rome (Italy)
    Rome reminds me a lot of Jakarta: careless people, super-packed and behind schedule buses, dirty street corners, but lots of good food. In conclusion: Rome is our least favorite city, which we ‘promised’ never to visit again except if we’re going to Vatican.
  4. Amsterdam – Zaandam – Haarlem (Netherlands)
    I love Netherlands the most. The cities are clean and well cared, the people are very friendly and speak proper English (so relieving to speak proper English again after 10 days of broken one), waiting time is always reasonable, and public transports are the easiest to understand (and clean). The downside is only that it’s hard to find good Asian food, especially for lunch when we supposedly eat big and the locals only eat sandwiches.

Public Transport in Each City

  1. Dusseldorf
    In terms of simplicity of finding the most suitable public transport tickets, this city is my least favorite. Thankfully, 2 days of our visit we got to ride on Tomy’s car. Hehe.. In Dusseldorf, somehow there is very limited number of officers in each bus stop/train station that we can ask, and tickets are not available in convenience stores (only purchasable in vending machines, which are confusing for us because there are a lot of options we can choose). After more than half day wandering around, we finally realized that the most suitable ticket for us was: 24-hr ticket (EUR 10.50 for 2). We prefer not to buy DusseldorfCard because it’s more expensive (EUR 19.00 for 2) and we didn’t need the pass for museums. 1x ride ticket is EUR 2.90 in Dusseldorf.
  2. Paris – Versailles
    During this trip planning, there were 2 options I was interested in: Paris Visite Pass (combination of Museum Pass and transport pass) and Navigo Week Pass (valid only from Monday to Sunday regardless of when you first use it). After checking with Cuni, she told me that Paris Visite Pass is some kind of scam, so we took Navigo Semaine/Navigo Week Pass (we were in Paris from Tuesday until Saturday, so the pass is worth it). You can buy it in the metro station’s ticket office (cannot buy it in vending machines) or order online and get it delivered to your hotel. We went with the first option, because we needed the pass to go from the train station to our apartment. The price for Navigo Semaine Zone 1-5 is EUR 27.80/person (EUR 5.00 for the Navigo card + EUR 22.80 for the week pass), and a 2×3 cm photograph is required. 1x ride ticket in Zone 1-3 Paris is EUR 1.90. The Navigo Zone 1-5 pass can also be used to go to Versailles.
  3. Rome – Vatican
    As soon as we arrived in Rome airport, we directly headed to the train station, as per the instruction from our airBNB host (thanks, Renzo!), to buy FL1 regional ticket from Fiumicino airport to Rome Trastevere station (price is EUR 8.00/person) and 72-hr Rome Metrebus Pass (price for the 72-hr pass is EUR 20.00/person; there are 3 options: 48, 72 and 96 hours, which are valid from the first time you get on any bus/tram/metro until the next 48/72/96 hours – validation is only required the first time we ride on the bus/tram/metro). In Rome, I can say the public transport is the worst among all other countries we visited during our trip – it doesn’t really differ to Jakarta in many ways. If you plan to visit Rome and happen to have extra budget, renting a car might be a good option (but you will need to find out the parking system there – I haven’t searched for it).
  4. Amsterdam – Zaandam – Haarlem
    There isn’t much information available on the transport system that I could find online, but the staff at the Tourist Information Center in Amsterdam Schiphol Airport was really helpful. I was actually planning on getting a GVB 3-day Pass (price is EUR 19/person), but after rechecking, apparently it is only valid for traveling inside Amsterdam. Since we were staying in Zaandam, we required Amsterdam and Region 3-day Pass instead (price is EUR 36.50/person), which can be used also for traveling by bus, train or tram to Volendam, Haarlem and other region in Netherlands. To go to the airport on our last day, we purchased a separate 1-way train ticket from Zaandam to Schiphol (price is EUR 5.80/person). The unique thing about Amsterdam’s tickets is that they are so thin (paper card-thin), but they’re actually chip cards (ov-chipkaart), and you have to check in and out (tapping on the machine) each time you get on and off. Tickets are valid up to 04.00 AM the next day (e.g. if you buy 3 day pass and first use it on Monday, then it will be valid until Thursday 04.00 AM). We also rode on the 1 hour river cruise for EUR 13.50/person (we got the discounted price – original price is EUR 19.00/person).

Combo Pass for Museums

The only combo pass for museums we bought was Paris Museum Pass (EUR 62.00/person, ordered online and obtained in Paris Visitor Office in Paris Gare du Nord station upon our arrival – we can choose whether to have it posted to our Paris address or to take it in certain visitor offices), and we’re satisfied with the fact that with that card in hand, we got to skip the lines at many museums (except at Arc de Triomphe, which special line is only open after the normal queue is long enough).

Other tourist/museum pass in our destinations:

  • Dusseldorf Card (EUR 9.00/person or EUR 18.00/family, for transport and discount for museum entry)
  • Roma Pass (EUR 28.00/person for 2 days, including transport, first museum, and discount for museum entry)
  • Amsterdam Museum Pass (EUR 75.50/person, valid for 31 days, including transport from and to airport, inner-city transport, canal cruise, and discount price for museum entry) or IAmSterdam Card (EUR 95.00/person for 72 hours, including transport, canal cruise, and entry to the museums)

What We Missed from the Original Itinerary

When I made our itinerary, I mostly followed those posted in Earth Trekkers blog, with some improvisations here and there adjusting to our inter-city transport schedule. After visiting so many museums in Paris, we agreed that we were a bit fed up with museums and art galleries, so those are what we ‘missed’ (on purpose) the most from our original itinerary – except the ones where tickets have been pre-purchased.

  1. Dusseldorf
    – Konigsalle – shopping street (we finally passed this street, but didn’t stop to see the shops)
    – Hofgarten – Germany’s oldest public park (our time in Dusseldorf was too short for a picnic)
    – Dusseldorfer Senfladen – mustard museum
    – Classic Remise – where they have classic cars collection (this was put as an option, but the location is quite far from the city center)
  2. Paris
    – Moulin Rouge (never planned to watch any show here – just wanted to take some pictures, but we ended up missing it because I spent too long in Montmartre 😛 )
    – Notre Dame Cathedral (still under renovation 😦 )
    – Centre Pompidou (option) – ticket is EUR 14.00/person
    – Pere Lachaise Cemetary (option)
    – Mundolingua – language museum (option)
  3. Rome
    – St. Peter’s Basilica (Vatican City) – ticket is EUR 19.50/person for audio guide + EUR 8.00/person to climb the dome
    – Borghese Art Gallery (somehow the website cannot be accessed so I couldn’t buy the tickets, and by the time we were in Rome we felt that we’ve had too many museums/art galleries already so we decided to skip this one) – ticket is EUR 17.50/person
    – Crypt of the Capuchin Friars (option) – ticket is EUR 8.50/person
  4. Amsterdam
    – Corrie ten Boom House (Museum of Nazi Resistance – Haarlem) (we arrived at 4 PM in Haarlem and the museum is closed at 4.30 PM)
    – Anne Frank House (need to book the tickets online and I didn’t get tickets 2 weeks before arrival) – ticket is EUR 10.00/person
    – Rijksmuseum (too many museums already) – ticket is EUR 20.00/person
    – The Heineken Experience (they said a free beer is provided upon entry, and I couldn’t drink beer 😦 ) – ticket is EUR 18.00/person
    – Museum Ons’Lieve Heer Op Solder (Our Lord in the Attic) (decided to stroll around the city more than visiting the museum) – ticket is EUR 12.50/person

Special thanks to my husband who has taken me to this amazing trip and patiently carried our bags here and there, washed our clothes, and packed our stuff into our 2 luggages. Also to our friends Tomy and Lydia for driving us around Germany and Cuni for the picnic. 🙂

Tee-hee!

*Gonna add some more pictures later.

[in Bahasa Indonesia] Post-Wedding Bonus Episode: Our First Cruise Experience

Gw dan suami sama-sama bukan tipe yang suka posting di medsos, jadi cuma keluarga aja yang tau bahwa pas honeymoon selama seminggu kemarin itu, kami pergi cruise. Pilihan yang sangat cerdas sih (gw nyontek temen gw sebenernya), mengingat 2 minggu menjelang hari H itu bener-bener hari-hari paling hectic dan melelahkan. Enaknya cruise, karena segala sesuatunya dilakukan di situ-situ aja, dan semuanya udah terjadwal tanpa perlu hire travel agent lagi. Bener-bener cocok banget buat kami yang udah kecapean nge-arrange segala sesuatu persiapan hari H dan butuh santai-santai ga mikir apa-apa.

Nikahan kami hari Sabtu, dan sengaja waktu itu gw pilih cruise yang berangkatnya hari Senin, biar hari Minggu ada waktu leha-leha dikit, sekedar ngelepas kecapekan hari H. Karena jatah cuti terbatas, jadi sengaja milih cruise yang ga terlalu panjang. Alasan lainnya juga biar ga bosen. Yang kami pilih tuh cruise 5 hari 4 malam (sebenernya lebih cocok dibilang 4 hari 4 malam), rutenya cuma Singapore-Port Klang (KL)-Phuket-Singapore. Ditambah bonus 2 hari jalan-jalan di Singapore. Kurang lebih begini urutan perjalanan kami:

Day 1: Jakarta-Singapore-Marina Cruise Center-Sea
Day 2: Port Klang-KL-Sea
Day 3: Phuket-Sea
Day 4: Sea
Day 5: Sea-Marina Cruise Center-Singapore
Day 6: Singapore
Day 7: Singapore-Jakarta

Pool view from our room deck
‘Adult only’ top deck with sunbathing chairs

Wall climbing
Shopping arcade
Our cruise ship from outside
Sunset from our room balcony
My very first rose made from ribbon – from the short course
Getting ready for the ice show

Awal mulanya kami honeymoon cruise itu pas 6 bulan sebelum hari H, iseng mampir ke salah satu gerai travel agent di mall, dan si (waktu itu) calon suami langsung bilang: yaudah langsung DP aja. Ada beberapa pilihan waktu itu: Royal Carribean, Dream Cruise, dan Star Cruise. Konon Star Cruise pada saat itu baru mau mulai berlayar, jadi kapalnya baru. Dream Cruise sendiri selalu paling banyak promo buy 1 get 1 free. Tapi pilihan kami jatuh ke Royal Carribean. Berhubung pasangan gw rada claustrophobic, jadi kami pilih kamar yang ada balkonnya (ngadep laut tentunya).

Yang asik banget dari cruise ini adalah:
– Sepanjang hari bener-bener ada acara, jadi even ga turun kapal, ga bakal mati gaya. Tiap pagi, tim housekeeping pasti nyelipin agenda untuk seharian itu lewat celah pintu. Jadi tinggal pilih aja mau ikut apa aja. Acaranya macem-macem, mulai dari pertunjukan, kuis, lomba karaoke, sampe kursus singkat. Belum termasuk acara bebas kaya berendam di jacuzzi, mini golf, atau boogie boarding.
– Sepanjang hari (24 jam) ada makanan, dan bisa pilih mau jenis makanan yang kaya gimana. Restonya ada banyak, mulai dari yang gratis sampe yang berbayar. Awalnya sempet niat nyobain yang berbayar sih, tapi ga jadi setelah ngeliat yang gratis pun udah lumayan bikin begah: ada cafe (makanannya ringan, macam kue-kue dan pizza), buffet restaurant (all you can eat, dengan beragam menu dari western sampai asian), dan semi-fine dining (ini spesial dinner, 5 set course, harus pake baju semi formal).
– Kalo mau dan ada budget lebih, setiap kali sandar bisa pilih paket tour sesuai selera. Ada yang fokusnya kuliner, jalan-jalan liat tempat bersejarah, atau kegiatan yang sifatnya adventure. Paketnya ga murah sih, tapi okelah untuk tur singkat ngeliat tempat baru.

Oia selama di cruise, passport kita ditahan sama mereka dan kita cuma dikasi pegangan 1 kartu kamar (1 kartu/orang), yang udah nge-link sama kartu kredit kita (pas check in sekalian dimintain data kartu kredit karena di atas kapal ga melayani bayar cash). Semua transaksi dalam USD.

All in all, ga salah pilih lah honeymoon cruise. Karena jadi kesempatan santai-santai dan makan enak (terutama buat cewe yang abis diet mempersiapkan hari H – gw kaga diet sih.. muahahaha). Tapi kayanya kalo lebih dari 4 hari dan cuma berdua bakal bosen sih. Mungkin lain cerita kalo perginya rame-rame sekeluarga besar. 🙂

to my future husband

*I just found out lately that he likes it when I write about him in my blog post. Apparently someone is more extrovert than I ever thought he is.

Dear Future Husband whose-name-is-left-unmentioned,

I never believed in love at first sight, and how we finally fell in love is proven to be a process. I can still remember the days I scolded you for being super annoying and your only response was only laughing. It was long after those days that we met again in a totally different setting – thanks to our dearest friend. It took more than 10 dates before we finally decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend.

Looking at how we were when we first knew each other, I can hardly believe that we are finally here today, preparing for our big day together. Ever since we became official, everything has always been so easy that I came to believe that the universe wants us to be together. (Or maybe it’s just our luck combined.)

Thank you for making me believe in love again, this time unconditionally. When we first met again, I felt like I was self-accomplished and won’t need a guy to make me happy. Even worse, I stopped looking for a guy and thought of never going to marry. Every guy I was ever close with was never the right guy, and I was totally tired with useless dates.

Thank you for accepting all my flaws – as a normal human being, I’m not flawless, but I highly appreciate your efforts to accept me as my true self. We are two different individuals with different backgrounds, so it’s just normal that we differ on so many things. What makes me sure to take you as a husband (yes, it’s a mutual thing) is the fact that you nearly complement all my flaws (‘nearly’ is because nothing is perfect in this world).

Thank you for always being there for me (even though I complain now and then that you aren’t). The biggest fear every woman has when starting dating someone is whether this guy will be consistent in caring for her. The answer is yes with you. As I’m writing this, we are already dating for more than 2 years, and you’re always there for me.

Thank you for all the me-times you constantly give. As an ambivert, I definitely need my me-times from time to time, apart from the care that I constantly demand. Working in project team forces me to meet and talk with a lot of people during the day, so I think it’s just normal that at the end of the day, I also need to get into my ‘cave’ and enjoy my me time. No, you know I don’t go to clubs or drink; most of the time I just read or watch, enjoying the most of my free time doing things as far-related away from work.

Thank you for the apologies and forgiveness. We are indeed a normal couple who argue now and then (even though the frequency is much less compared to my previous relationships). Sometimes it’s you, sometimes it’s me, but every fight we have is making us stronger.

Love you. Today and in the days to come.

XOXO
Your Future Wife
August 2018

[in Bahasa Indonesia] Wedding Preparation Bonus Episode: Perjanjian Pranikah

Kalimat terakhir gw di post Episode 3.5 nyebut-nyebut soal perjanjian pranikah. Mungkin banyak yang bertanya-tanya perjanjian pranikah itu sebenarnya apa.

Gw sendiri ngenal istilah perjanjian pranikah gara-gara nonton film barat (prenuptial agreement alias prenup), dan ga pernah kerajinan nyari tau sampe akhirnya gw sendiri mau nikah. Untungnya gw punya penasehat hukum yang terpercaya (somse) jadi ada tempat nanya-nanya. Gw sendiri kurang paham perjanjian pranikah ini applicable buat semua golongan di Indonesia apa nggak.

Image result for prenuptial agreement

Sesuai namanya, perjanjian pranikah adalah perjanjian yang dibuat cowo dan cewe sebelum nikah. Inti perjanjiannya adalah harta yang dipunyai sebelum dan setelah nikah, selain yang memang disepakati akan jadi milik bersama, tetap dimiliki masing-masing pihak (pisah harta), dan ini berlaku juga buat seluruh hutang yang ada. Beberapa pasangan ada yang menambahkan juga pasal di perjanjiannya mengenai pembagian harta gono-gini dan hak asuh anak seandainya mereka cerai.

Dalam kondisi pernikahan normal tanpa perjanjian pisah harta, harta dan hutang pasangan suami istri dihitung gabung jadi 1, dan seandainya mereka cerai pun, akan ada lagi pembicaraan harta gono gini yang biasanya berujung salah satu pihak merasa dirugikan.

Gw bisa bilang, pisah harta (dan hutang) ini akan sangat membantu kalo misalkan salah satu pasangan ada yang buka perusahaan atau kerja resiko tinggi. Katakan (amit-amit) tengah jalan perusahaannya bangkrut dan terlibat banyak hutang, dan pasangannya masih setia mendampingi, rumah tangga mereka aman karena pengadilan ga akan berhak ngubek-ngubek harta pasangannya. (Kalau soal perilaku menyimpang yang berpotensi bikin cerai sih harusnya udah dideteksi dari awal ya, ga usah dinikahin aja kalo ada mah..)

Kalo orang-orang kolot mungkin bakal banyak yang nanya: jadi dari awal nikah udah siap-siap buat cerai sampe harus bikin perjanjian pranikah segala? Jawaban gw adalah: nggak. Perjanjian ini bukan buat persiapan cerai, tentu aja. Siapa juga yang mau nikah kalau tujuannya buat cerai. Tapi perjanjian ini melindungi hak dan kewajiban masing-masing pihak ke pasangannya.

Untuk melegalkan perjanjian pranikah ini, dokumen harus ditandatangani di depan notaris, dengan 2 orang saksi. Plus, jangan sampe kelupaan juga buat mendaftarkan ke dinas catatan sipil sebelum penandatanganan akta nikah.

[in Bahasa Indonesia] Wedding Preparation Final Episode: My Wedding Day

Satu hal yang gw inget banget pas technical meeting dibilangin sama WO gw adalah: pokoknya pas hari H kalian tenang aja, kita udah bikinin rundown-nya, jadi kalian ikutin aja ga usah mikir macem-macem. Pas itu, yang di kepala gw adalah: gw takut acara ga berjalan sesuai rencana.

Kenyataannya, pas hari H yang terjadi adalah (saran gw: buat smua calon pengantin, even WO nya ga se-proaktif WO gw, bener-bener gunakan technical meeting sebagai ajang untuk memperjelas semua detail terkecil hari H dengan semua vendor yang terlibat, karena pas hari H udah ga ada waktu lagi buat mikirin apapun):

Jam 2.30 gw di-morning call-in sama both front desk hotel (atas request WO) dan WO gw. Begitu bangun langsung sambil stengah sadar (karena gw cuma tidur 3 jam) siap-siap.

Jam 3 teng MUA gw dan timnya dateng (thank you Vidi for being punctual!). Berhubung kamar gw yang dipake untuk make up (gw tidur sama nyokap biar ade gw dapet ‘bonus’ tidur 2 jam, karena jadwal make up dia baru start jam 5), jadi timnya butuh waktu sekitar 30 menit lagi untuk nyulap tu kamar jadi ruangan make up. (Termasuk manggilin housekeeping buat tambahan kursi.)

Jam 6.30 akhirnya selesai make up gw (nyokap-nyokap udah selesai duluan), trus ga sempet ba-bi-bu lagi (karena sebenernya udah telat dari rundown) langsung autopilot aja ngikutin arahan WO buat take foto dan video plus pake gaun pengantin.

Itu perasaan udah pagi bener siapnya, tapi eh tapi.. ujung-ujungnya baru nyampe gereja jam 9.40 juga. Pemberkatan gw jam 10.

Meski sempet tergagap-gagap pas ngucapin janji pernikahan (padahal beberapa menit sebelumnya masih hafal), akhirnya berasa legaaaaaaa banget pas misa bubaran. Well, ga selega itu sih karenaaa.. baju pengantin gw ketat banget sodara-sodari! Napas aja engap. *ngakak sendiri kalo inget lagi* Alhasil begitu naik mobil, gw langsung mengerahkan tim WO untuk ngebantuin gw longgarin baju. Baru deh bisa makan abis itu.

Abis itu tidur-tiduran bentar (mana bisa tidur dengan kondisi rambut dan make up masih cetar ya kan.. terutama karena bajunya masih dipake – ternyata adat gw adalah (nyokap baru ngasitau H-1) ga boleh lepas-pasang baju pengantin, jadi terpaksa gw ga lepas tu baju seharian), retouch make up, dan tau-tau (autopilot lagi) udah saatnya tea pai, catatan sipil, makan, dan resepsi. Pas akhirnya selesai resepsi (baju, rambut dan soft lens udah dilepasin sebelum cabut dari gedung yayyy), udah ga ngerasain lagi badan kaya apa. Bener-bener dari ujung kepala sampe ujung kaki rasanya lelah. Thank God akhirnya berlalu dan lancar juga berkat WO yang bisa diandalkan. 😀

Jadi urutan hari H gw adalah (ini kayanya lumayan common untuk Chinese Indonesian):

  1. Persiapan pengantin dengan orangtua masing-masing (pengantin pria dipakein jas, pengantin wanita dipakein veil – konon kalo di gw, abis veil dipakein sama ortu ga bole dibuka-pasang lagi – terus ada acara makan onde sama ortu biar lengket terus, atau ada juga yang makan misoa + telur)
  2. Pengantin cowo jemput pengantin cewe di rumah ortu cewe (pas masuk kamar cewe, pengantin cowo ga boleh menghadap langsung ke arah pengantin cewe, jadi dituntun sama ortu cewe membelakangi si pengantin cewe gitu)
  3. Pengantin cewe dan cowo bareng-bareng balik ke rumah ortu cowo (setelah ini, pengantin cewe ga balik lagi ke rumah ortunya sampe pas hari ke-3 abis married – cek Episode 4.5)
  4. Pemberkatan di gereja (atau di vihara, kalau pengantin Buddhist) (ini ngikutin tata cara yang ada aja sih.. biasanya udah baku. Dalam case gw, di gereja Katolik udah ada template tata cara/buku panduan yang tinggal diikutin aja. PR masing-masing calon pengantin cuma milih lagu dan bacaan aja. Plus nyari lektor/lektris untuk bacaan, MC untuk kata sambutan dan kata penutup, misdinar/putra altar kalo dari gereja belum nyediain, koor, dan petugas persembahan.)
  5. Tea Pai (upacara minum teh ala Chinese) (berhubung yang ini kami ga ngerti tata caranya kaya gimana, jadi ngikutin aja arahan WO. Intinya sih dimulai dari ortu cowo, kakek-nenek cowo kalo masih ada, lanjut ke om tantenya, dimulai dari saudara bokapnya cowo yang paling tua sampe ke saudara nyokapnya yang paling muda, lanjut ke ortu cewe, kakek-nenek cewe kalo masih ada, lanjut ke om tante dari bokapnya cewe yang paling tua sampe saudara nyokapnya cewe yang paling muda. Pas giliran pai ke keluarga cowo, pengantin cewe yang hidangin teh, trus nanti tetua kasih perhiasan atau angpau untuk hadiah pengantin baru, dan di beberapa adat, pengantin cewe kasi balasan berupa 1 pasang handuk kecil. Bgitu juga sebaliknya, pengantin cowo hidangin teh untuk keluarga pengantin cewe.)
  6. Catatan sipil (berhubung sekarang petugas capil ga boleh lagi dipanggil ke gereja dan kebetulan ada kenalan petugasnya, jadi kami panggil petugas capil dateng ke gedung resepsi untuk tanda tangan dokumen biar ga ribet lagi ngurusin ke kantor capil. Singkat aja, ga sampe 30 menit prosesinya. Cuma verifikasi data suami-istri dan 2 orang saksi oleh petugas capil, trus tanda tangan akta, udah deh.)
  7. Gladi resik + foto-foto keluarga (sempet rush banget pas mau gladi resik, karena awalnya ga memperhitungkan ada capil abis tea pai. Tp untung akhirnya smua bisa selesai termasuk foto-foto keluarga sebelum jam 18.30. Target achieved karena dari awal udah dipesenin sama om tante buat foto di awal aja pas masih fresh, biar kalo ada yang udah kecapean bisa pulang duluan juga.)
  8. Early dinner (skalian ngumpet dari tamu yang mulai berdatangan)
  9. Resepsi (awalnya gw yang males ribet ini bilang ke WO ga mau mingle, tapi waktu itu WO gw insist untuk tetep adain. Akhirnya ga nyesel sih, karena emang bener, kesempatan buat nyapa-nyapa dan foto-foto bareng jadi nambah banget. Singkat cerita, urutan resepsi gw standar aja: prosesi masuk, speech pengantin pria, potong ‘kue’ dan suap-suapin kue ke ortu, wedding toast, doa sebelum makan, salam-salaman, mingle, trus foto bersama deh.)

All the best buat calon pengantin di luar sana! 🙂

[in Bahasa Indonesia] Episode 4.5: Persiapan Pernikahan ala Chinese Indonesia

Buat yang ga personally kenal gue, sebetulnya keluarga gue itu tipikal Chinese Jakarta yang udah ga terlalu kental tradisinya. Kami masih ngerayain Chinese New Year alias sincia, tapi tradisi lain yang (lumayan) ngerepotin sebenernya udah nggak, karena mayoritas kami juga udah bukan Buddhist. Sooo.. it’s just natural that pas persiapan pernikahan, keluarga gue sebenernya ga terlalu ribet dengan hitungan ini itu. Tapi keluarga calon gue masih, jadi dijalanin aja deh. (Ortu gue tipenya yang: kalo emang hitungannya bener bawa kebaikan kan bagus juga, jadi jalanin aja.)

Ini ga full tradisi juga diikutin, cuma yang penting-pentingnya aja, dan mungkin bisa sedikit kasi clue ke para calon pengantin Chinese lain yang mau ikutin tradisi (karena sejujurnya gue pun super bingung dengan istilah-istilah yang ada sebelum ngalamin sendiri):

  1. Lamaran. Ini kayanya standar sih dan semua adat, even di negara barat, sebelum nikah pasti ada lamaran. Yang membedakan cuma lamarannya sampe mana. Kalo di adat timur, termasuk yang ada di tradisi ini, lamaran ini skalanya ortu cowo ngomong ke ortu cewe (dan kami calon pengantin harus “ngumpet” dulu, ga boleh ikutan ada di ruangan yang sama selama kedua ortu saling bicara). Yang dibicarakan biasanya niatan si cowo untuk menikahi si cewe, tanggal rencana pernikahan (kalau belum sempet dibicarakan sebelumnya), dan apa aja yang ‘diminta’ sama keluarga si cewe in return cewenya ‘diminta’ sama si cowo (ini biasanya ada yang wajib dan nggak, tapi apa yang diminta akan dibawain saat sangjit). Atas nama tradisi, meski calon suami gue udah ngadep ortu gue like way before the wedding day (what other reasons did I have to come to wedding fairs?), lamaran ini tetep dijalankan lagi secara resmi antara 2 keluarga.
  2. Seserahan (sangjit). Kalo seserahan ini tradisi yang identik dengan budaya Indonesia (ga tau di negara Asia yang lain ada atau nggak.. anyone?), tanda penghargaan keluarga cowo akan keluarga, terutama orangtua cewe yang udah membesarkan si cewe. Buat yang masih keturunan Chinese, biasa seserahan ini disebut juga sangjit. Untungnya sekarang ini banyak banget sumber-sumber yang bisa dijadiin referensi (thanks Internet), salah duanya: https://www.weddingku.com/blog/sangjit-a-meaningful-chinese-proposal-tradition dan http://thebridedept.com/tata-cara-prosesi-sangjit/.
  3. Hias kamar ranjang pengantin. Awalnya gue ga tau ini tradisi mana, tapi setelah iseng browsing ternyata hias ranjang pengantin ini adalah tradisi dari China, dan ortu gue sendiri masih ngejalanin tradisi ini, meski sepupu-sepupu gue udah nggak. Nah berhubung filosofi hias ranjang pengantin ini bagus, ya dijalanin juga lah.. jadi biasanya prosesi hias ranjang pengantin ini memang dijalanin 2-3 hari sebelum hari H oleh cewek (bisa nyokap/saudara lain yang lebih tua) yang suami, anak dan cucunya masih hidup. Salah satu referensi yang gue temuin: http://www.chinese-wedding-guide.com/bridal-bed.html.
  4. Hari H. Dibanding nomor 1-3, kayanya nomor 4 ini yang paling banyak diketahui (thanks to Instagram, video same day edit di-upload dimana-mana). Tergantung asal si pengantin, karena even sesama Chinese Indonesia pun bisa beda tradisinya, tapi normalnya seperti ini (yang kami jalanin at least yang kaya gini): pagi-pagi pengantin cowo ngejemput ke rumah pengantin cewe (konon baiknya di malam sebelum hari H, pengantin cowo dan cewe tidak tinggal di bawah satu atap. Ada juga yang bilang, pas hari H, pengantin ga boleh dibiarin ke mana-mana sendirian, alias harus ada yang nemenin. Termasuk pas acara jemput pagi.), makan onde (katanya biar lengket terus sebagai suami-istri), trus baru berangkat bareng ke lokasi acara (dalam hal ini, gereja, untuk pemberkatan).
  5. Pulang ke rumah ortu pengantin cewe. Tradisi yang ini gue baru tau setelah temen gue (cewe) yang tinggal di luar negeri married. Waktu itu, setelah acara hari H, dia ‘pulang’ ke rumah ortu cowo (berhubung rumah mereka sebenernya di luar), dan setelah 3 hari, baru dia pulang ke rumah ortunya sendiri. Konon tradisi ini sebagai simbol bahwa setelah nikah nanti, even si cewe udah ‘diambil’ sama suaminya, dia tetep ga akan lupain ortunya sendiri.

Good luck buat persiapannya! 😀