The key persons to my getting-out-of-my-comfort-zone are none other than my parents.
Thanks to their minimum control over their children’s life (apart from not letting me and my sister come home after 9 PM when we live at home), we are now considered (at least among our friends) tough, independent, and highly adaptable.
While other (my friends’) moms insisted on putting their children in a school close to home regardless of the school’s qualities, my mom instead learned to drive and picked us up from school every single day (and took us to our extracurricular/after school activities when we had them).
While other (my friends’) moms prohibited their children to go to a university in other city regardless of the university’s reputation (“as long as it’s not too bad,” they said), my mom encouraged me when she knew that I was interested in applying to (what she believes) the best institution in Indonesia. I received the same support when I enrolled to a university abroad for my master’s, because “it will enrich your experience and widen your knowledge,” she said.
While other (my friends’) dads bought cars for their children while they were away from home and didn’t have enough yet to buy one themselves (including when they just started working), (I begged for a car also a lot of times but) my dad told me to ride (various) public transport and earn my own car because he didn’t have spare money to buy me one.
It’s not that they don’t love us; we always get the love we need from our parents. I just understand this now, that instead of feeding us with everything we need, they have always prepared us to be ready to face the world on our feet. Not the food, but the bail. Including sending us to (what is considered) the best schools, not overly restraining us to do things, and giving advice instead of orders.
All in all, my parents have always encouraged me and my sister to get out of our comfort zone if we’re sure what we’re doing is the best for us. I would not be who I am today if it’s not because of them, and I wish I would one day be a parent like them. 🙂
Beberapa bulan terakhir, gue terpaksa nyetir lagi ke kantor, dan on top of that, I spend 39 kIDR each day on toll road. Gue yakin sih gue ga sendirian, karena di kantor gue pun banyak yang kaya gue. Yang gue rada bingung cuma fakta bahwa jalan tol itu ga bebas hambatan lagi (seperti yang dulu selalu diajarin ke gue pas SD).
Keuntungan dari menggunakan jalan tol cuma karena ga ada sepeda motor pengganggu (mau diakui atau nggak, makin kesini makin banyak pengemudi mobil yang ngeluh soal pengendara motor yang suka seenaknya – dan emang bener, baret-baret di mobil gue 90% disebabkan pengendara motor yang seenaknya nyelip-nyelip).
Beberapa hal kurang enak yang gue notice terjadi di jalan tol, berdasarkan pengalaman pribadi (I’m not judging here):
Volume kendaraan yang tinggi bikin jalan tol juga macet, terutama di titik-titik pertemuan beberapa jalur (percabangan).
Bus dan truk di jalur tengah (dan kiri untuk truk bermuatan berat yang bener-bener lambat jalannya) bikin kagok banget buat kendaraan pribadi, jadi kendaraan pribadi rata-rata terpaksa ambil jalur paling kanan, ga peduli jalannya cepet atau lambat.
Mendahului dari jalur sebelah kiri bahkan dari bahu jalan, akibat banyaknya kendaraan pribadi yang ambil jalur paling kanan gara-gara poin nomor 2. Yang, kalo dipikir-pikir, bahaya banget sebenernya, karena di jalur kiri itu resiko tinggi ketemu kendaraan yang jalannya lebih lambat (means rem mendadak kemungkinan ga bisa dihindari).
‘Pemaksaan’ penggunaan GTOalias pembayaran nontunai itu sebenernya bagus. Gue dukung sih idenya, dengan tujuan ngurangin korupsi para petugas gerbang tol (dari 10x lewat gerbang tol, rata-rata cuma 5x dikasi struknya alias ga jelas yang 5 lagi dikemanain), better records of all transactions, dan (sebetulnya) mempersingkat waktu transaksi karena ga pake kembalian-kembalian. Sayangnya, tujuan yang terakhir ga tercapai karena kenyataannya antrian di gerbang tol malah makin panjang dan lama sejak penerapan GTO. 😀
Bonus dari tarif tol yang hampir tiap tahun naik adalah: jalan yang berlubang di sana sini, bikin maintenance mobil juga naik. Berhubung jalan tol beroperasi 24 jam sehari, 7 hari seminggu, keliatannya ga ada waktu buat memperbaiki jalan yang rusak. Gue pribadi merasa terganggu sih dengan adanya jalan rusak. Saking dalamnya lubang yang ada, pernah knalpot mobil gue sampe kejeduk keras banget.
As I reached the end of my first month in the new company (yes, again), I came to my boss and asked if he can assign me with something. The problem is I had become idle while others were very busy. I’d even felt uncomfortable leaving the office at 5 PM when everyone else stayed until late.
I talked to a senior about my idleness and he only responded with: “Just enjoy your honeymoon period.”
Recalling my experience, it’s been more than 4 years since my last honeymoon period with a company. I didn’t have one in the previous company I worked for, since the nature of the business is totally different: the previous company’s business is a highly competitive business with high-paced development, while the current one is a more long-term business with slower-paced development. I like working for both, but I think the latter suits me more in the sense that I get to have more time for play (I felt like I had no life with the highly competitive business).
Honeymoon period is actually important, since it enables people to observe and adapt to the new environment. The ideal time for honeymoon period varies depending on the pace and complexity of work. The important things are to get to know people whom you’re going to work with, and the process to make you succeed in the work. Just remember that no company is dumb enough to let its employee idle forever, especially when it’s still paying his/her monthly salary.
Since I’ve now worked and tried to keep myself on track (I’m actually not someone who believes that you can’t change career once you get in, but fate brings me back to track), I can only share this: what did I want to be when I was younger?
A writer. Thanks to my high school for getting every student to journalistic training, I fell in love with writing. I used to really hate any language lesson until I joined the training and realized that writing can be fun in the way that I’m free to express my thoughts. For those of you who know me in person, I tend to be straightforward and not so expressive. Writing enables me to think more logically and elaborate things without being interrupted (even if the readers refrain from reading, I wouldn’t know).
A teacher/lecturer. When I was in school, my mom would ask me to teach some lessons to my sister. I didn’t like the job back then, being the emotional me and all. Only after I was assigned as my lecturer’s teaching assistant I’d then felt that teaching is also a fun activity. I like sharing what I know and experience, so being a teacher/lecturer might also be a career choice. (I’m not interested in taking any Ph.D though, so if the institute requires the lecturer to be a Ph.D, I won’t apply.)
An entrepreneur. This is my latest want, given the reality that babysitters and schools/education institutions are not reliable in making children’s mentality strong – I want to be an entrepreneur who would be able to run the business from home while I raise my children. Hopefully I will be able to make this dream come true. 🙂
I will be 30 next month and will (definitely) still be single (as in not married), regardless all the questions asked (really, Indonesians meddle in other’s business too much). The most important thing is I’m happy with my life.
Here are some things that I’m grateful of:
I have to admit that I was really broken after my last breakup, but later after I moved on, I was and am always happy and free. Those feelings are not buyable.
If I had gotten married at the age of 27, which I initially planned and dreamed of, I will not get these:
realization of who my real friends are and how amazing they really are
It wasn’t until I took the PMP preparation training back in November 2014 that I was aware of the existence of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It was briefly explained in the 5th Edition of Project Management Book of Knowledge (PMBOK) Chapter 9: Human Resource Management.
It is often depicted as a pyramid, read from bottom to the top, implying that one cannot reach the upper level before the lower level need(s) is fulfilled.
I was 27 years old when I joined the training in 2014, very much confident and fulfilled my esteem needs. The only thing I hadn’t accomplished was self-actualization, the top of Maslow’s pyramid. Hence, I was aiming for a PMP certification for my self-actualization (which I accomplished in early 2015).
Honestly speaking, I’m the kind of person who doesn’t like being the best in class. I’d prefer being a runner up, because that way I will have a goal for myself: beating the top of class. I love competition as much as I love eating and traveling.
Without second guessing, after I got my certification in 2015, I became a little demotivated, even until now, and keep aiming for more. I even ended my career as a project manager and started giving myself another career challenge (which didn’t work out, and got me back to project management world LOL).
There is no regret since everything that happened has given me lots of unmeasurable experience, but it looks like I need to find myself another self-actualization goals to keep myself motivated. Any idea?