about getting married

Ever since I was in high school (I went to an all-girl school), I have decided that I want to get a Master’s degree and that I want to be a successful woman before getting married. The “survey” took place during a workshop where an alumni shared her experience in life after high school. There she asked us to write the age at which we would like to get married. Amazingly, most of us (there were a total of 160 students in my year) answered 27 y.o. Everyone had her own reason, but mostly because we would like to achieve higher degree and good career.

I will be 27 this year and just realized that the 10 year younger me was so naive. That even now I’m still not ready to get married (other than the fact that I’m still single) because there are so many things that I haven’t achieved yet in life, namely good career and lots of holidays to other side of the world. I know that the me now is still so naive, that many say I can still achieve those things after I get married, but I have this ambition to be like my mom (well, considering today’s condition, I might be like her, minus the resignation from work after giving birth) – I want to be able to focus on my family after my marriage. That way, I have to pump my career up high NOW, settle down with it and slow down once I get married.

I’m someone who believes that when you’ve found the right one, you’ll be ready to commit in a marriage no matter how old you are. I was only 24 when I felt that I’d found the one and agreed to arrange our marriage when I’m 27. Long term necessities had been prepared, but my Mr. Right (Now) turned out to be Mr. Not-So-Right that in the end I was certain that he was not the one anymore and we separated (and thank God he’s become someone else’s Mr. Right and found his happiness).

Now that I’m a proud single woman with an elevating career, I don’t put a target to myself anymore. I know that I want to get married, but I’ll make my new target after I find the one. (Somehow this way of thinking is too much like a guy’s..)

My message to the girls out there: don’t EVER make a hasty decision of getting married just because people are starting to question you due to your age/status/any other situation (well, Indonesian sometimes care too much about other people’s business). When you decide to get married, it should be with the right one and you must be ready yourself (make sure you won’t get married only because the guy’s rich/handsome/higher than you, because that way the guy will forever step on your head).

*P.S.: I’m feeling so lucky to have a lot of good guy friends – most of them haven’t even thought about getting married at this age that nobody would talk about the idea of marriage (I found that topic kind of depressing at some moment before) when we hang out.

*P.S.1: And even luckier that my parents got married when they were older than me so they’re not pushing me to get married so fast like my friends.


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