about the things I learn from past relationships

According to the article I shared in my last post (article here, blog post here), in my current stage of breakup, I should write down things to release my feelings. Since this is related to relationship, I will first write down things I learn from my ex-boyfriends. (I’ll try my best to be as objective as I could.)

***THE THINGS I LEARN FROM PAST RELATIONSHIPS***

1. Being in a relationship will always make you adapt yourself to your significant other, i.e. you tend to like the things they like and your ways of interacting will be more like them.

2. Communication and trust are the foundation of a successful relationship. Somehow when you lose any one of them, the relationship would sooner or later fall apart.

3. Making a commitment from early in a relationship is not good. The first year of a relationship is the time you should spend getting to know your significant other. Once you know them deeper and when you’ve felt comfortable with each other’s presence, then you’re very much welcome to make commitments. When you make commitments from day 1 of the relationship, your relationship will focus on the commitment itself and not the 2 persons bonding emotionally.

4. Family and friends are your support systems. Introduce your significant other to your family and friends and see how they respond. Most of the time they can see what you, who are so busy being in love, cannot, so instead of being mad at them for telling you the truth, try to listen and consider their opinions. They will be the people whom you run to when your relationship is in trouble and/or falls apart, anyway.

5. As I’ve shared in my post “about the one“, be aware of what the universe says to you. It is hard to do, but the universe never gets tired of giving you the signs. If you don’t see it the first time, there will be a million more times. Don’t forget to put everything in God’s hands, pray a lot and listen to your heart.

6. Love is one thing; the will to maintain the relationship is another. Keep in mind that you’re in a relationship with another human being, not a robot. So even if you keep saying those love words, you still need to maintain the romance, understanding and care in the relationship. That is the best way to keep the relationship going well. Small surprises now and then are good too. 😉

7. Most relationships end because at least one person in there gives up. If you value your relationship more than anything, then you’ll have to fight for it, together with your significant other.

8. Be realistic in planning the future TOGETHER. After you’ve made the commitment to continue to the next stage in life together with your significant other, the next step to do is to plan the future TOGETHER. It’s your life, as an “us”, not “you” and “me”, so involve your SO as much in this as possible. Talk a lot through this and settle down things you’re not sure of.

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