about the deceased

Out of all things that’s happened to me in my almost 26 years of life, there’s one that I don’t like the most: deceased. The unwanted-yet-inevitable goodbye.

I have dealt with some deaths in my life and none of them brings happiness. I was only 8 when my grandmom, whom I saw at least once every week, died. At that time, I was old enough to understand that I would never see her sitting on her couch, answering me like she always did anymore, but I also didn’t know her the way my parents did. I cried the moment the coffin was covered up, only because I found that my mom cried (dad was strong enough not to cry), but that’s it. I was quite cheered up when we had to climb up the hill to bury her the next day.

As I grow older, my relationship with other family members grows stronger as well. When I was younger, I would cry out loud imagining life without my parents, not because I know them, but because I couldn’t imagine my life without them. I still needed their support, financially and mentally in order for me to grow. I’d thought that after I’m older, I won’t feel so sad anymore if I lose them, because I would’ve been able to support myself. The thought turns out to be wrong. Now that I’m older, I (maybe) don’t need their financial support anymore, but the need of living around them is so huge. I’m still young and I need mom’s advice on how to live life, dad’s on how to be a professional, and so on and so forth.

In the last 3 days, I’ve heard 3 sad news coming from close friends who just lost their family members. Everyone’s reaction was different – one would’ve passed out at the toilet after hearing the news, the other would hold his tears in, and another one would just be as strong as a rock in order to be the support of the family. The news of passed away family members are never easy. Nobody will ever be ready for the news, but life must go on. The “called” must be gone and the “not yet called” must stay alive. I don’t know how I will react if the same thing happened to me; I just wish that God lets us all die in peace.

One thing about the deceased (I tweeted yesterday about human’s behavior of remembering other’s negative threats and forgetting the positive ones): by the time you leave this Earth, people will finally remember your positive sides (other than the negatives). Sometimes, they will even regret not having the time to apologize to you.

For this moment, I wish that all the deceased relatives of my friends will rest in peace by His side. Deepest condolences for their loss.


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